Home Of The Quack Quack Dancer

Playtime's Over

2006-09-01T11:14:00.000+08:00

The Quack Quack Dancer is finally signing off. The realization that I'm getting older by the second finally struck me hard.

I am no longer a child.

I am now a man, a deity, and a devil.

Tara's Gone

2006-06-27T09:51:00.000+08:00

One of my hamsters, Tara, has been missing since last night. I was hoping that she just made her way around the pad, so I left some sunflower seeds in the most accessible places within the apartment to lure her out. But alas, as of the time I left there were no signs of the female rodent as there were still the same number of sunflower seeds in those areas where I placed them.

This led me to think three other probable causes for her disappearance:

Somebody might have hamster-napped her.
Since the hamster haven is close to the windows, and that we usually open the windows during the mornings, the cats outside must've found a way to get in and nab her, thus making her cat chow.
Still on the premise of the location of the hamsters' home and the open windows, the curtain must've been blown into their niche, and Tara, curiously enough, used the curtain to climb her way to freedom and out the window.

For theory 1, the only suspects would be my parents and Elson, a good friend of mine who has been staying in the pad while looking for his own place. A contradiction to this concept is that what would my parents do with the hamster? I mean if they do want one, they essentially are part masters of the rodents since the hamster haven is situated in the pad, co-owned by them. And if it so happens that they hate the critters, why just eliminate one? As for Elson, well, he came in the pad just right before I got there last night and finding out that she's gone, thus eliminating him from the suspect list.

For theory 2, the chink would lie in the fact that Hammie, the other hamster, is still in place. Borrowing the reasoning from the above paragraph, why would the cat just take one hamster? OK, probably Hammie was able to hide, but given the topography of their habitat, their is definitely no way he could've hidden effectively without the cat/s spotting him. So I guess this renders this idea almost improbable.

The third one might be the most plausible scenario, but again if so, why is it that Tara was the only one who escaped? Well, I did observe that Hammie is less adventurous so he may have cowered with the fact of going out of his literal zone of comfort.

Point being, I am still hoping that Tara would show up. Hammie's visibly depressed with his new found solitude, as he even barely touched the grub I gave him last night, as well as his seemingly inactive mode. So Tara, if you've chanced upon this blog entry of mine (and in the event that you can understand human symbolisms), please come home... Hammie misses you.

New Semester, New Class, Same Students

2006-06-19T09:45:00.000+08:00

I've just finished my first session for my one and only class this semester. I'm going to teach Computer Science 12, which is essentially intermediate concepts in computer programming, as well as an introduction to the use of Java as programming/development tool.

I believe I have a bit of an upper hand considering that I have essentially the same set of students I had before when I taught Computer Science 11 (Introduction to Computer Programming using C). Of course, there is that cliche', "Familiarity breeds contempt" (for whatever it's worth). I guess the more imminent wild card here would be how well can I make them appreciate Java programming. I had some students before from my Computer Science 21 (Computer Organization and Assembly Language Programming) class last semester who had a horrendous experience in their CS 12 class, that they have come to abhor Java. I don't know who to blame for their mishap, nor do I want to know, but I do hope that I will be able to avoid that kind of feedback from these kids once they have gone through this course.

Well, guess I have to take this one day at a time then...

Run Like Hell

2006-06-13T11:53:00.000+08:00

4 jobs to take care of
3 subjects for my Master's course
2 stones in my gall bladder
1 more year

"First chicken, now gladiator. This just keeps getting better and better. Too bad there's no one here to see the show!!!"
- Dante, Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening

Got that right, D.

One Year After...

2006-05-31T10:16:00.000+08:00

I just realized that it has been a year now since I've started working as a research assistant for IRRI (under the RA program of Dr. Eddie Mendoza in collaboration with the Department of Computer Science in UP Diliman). Albeit all the frustrations, hardships, and tribulations, I'm still here standing and logging this entry.

I know that I have been a real dick to a lot of people (especially apparent in a lot of my previous posts here in my blog) during the course of my tasks (and I do hope they forgive me for being such) and I may have been at times a lazy sloth (redundancy?) with regard to my work and academics, but somehow, I'm still able to maintain social relationships, finish tasks ON TIME, and miraculously achieve my goals almost flawlessly.

Now, at most one more year stands between me and three of my goals:

Finish the IRRI project
Finish my Master's thesis
Get married

Hence I go once again forward...

Why I Made My Life Harder Than It Already Is

2006-04-17T13:38:00.000+08:00

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird (by Harper Lee)

The Pain, The Fury, The End

2006-04-12T13:22:00.000+08:00

I really wish I jumped at the deal of having to legally procure a .35 Beretta. I really want to waste some motherfuckers around where I am right now. Shit.

On a lighter note, the semester's over for me and I now await judgment (and perhaps, mercy?). Still, the Beretta...

Moving Out

2006-03-27T08:54:00.000+08:00

They've meddled and disturbed my privacy for the last time. I've finally come up with he decision to move out of their house after I've settled my other (academic) obligations. All the trust in the world given to them and all they've handed me were lies.

Never Again

2006-03-20T13:44:00.000+08:00

What do you think happens when a person gets betrayed by some of the few people that person unquestionably and unconditionally trusts? What happened if this happens for the second time? Third time? Nth time?

You be the judge.

Resolutions And End Games

2006-03-13T08:53:00.000+08:00

I've finally conversed with my parents, and we've finally agreed on respect for individuality. I won't get into the nitty-gritty of things, but it's suffice to say that that crisis is over... for now.

What I am zeroing-in on right now is that in a few days time, classes will end, and the horrors will once again resurface from the depths of Hell. Knowing I am not the only one going through this, may Fortune smile upon all of us.

See you later.

Take The Power Back

2006-03-06T08:33:00.000+08:00

Finally, Jamroe, my trusty oversized PDA / laptop, has finally gotten her new battery pack and can finally run once again without any direct AC source.

On another note, I'm now on another trek to oblivion - lo and behold, it's nearing the end of March: home stretch.

Here're the things that I need be doing the next few days:

Creative paper for my Biological Structures class regarding the use of game theory concepts to model the reproductive mechanism of E. coli
Critique paper for my Advanced Algorithms and Data Structures class regarding the use of minimum spanning trees for establishing biological phylogeny
Class project for my Database Theory class, which entails creating a virtual adviser software based on historical data using data mining techniques
Establishing the final form of the catalog / repository for my research assistant work over at IRRI
Take care of the final exam and projects of both my CS 11 and CS 21 classes in Kalayaan College
Prepare for upcoming exams for all the Master's program subjects mentioned in 1 - 3
Create my proposal for the thesis required in the Master's program

And if that's not enough, "good" ol' Mom and Dad decided to jump into the fray. Supposedly, they offered me a housing unit, with rent MUCH lower than that of my previous abode (actually, I've already transferred to a new housing unit). I took the bait on the premise that it'll be my house, and that they'll just be coming over from time to time to spend the night. But as things would have it yesterday, it's no longer so much my home but theirs - they've practically dictated everything from positioning of items inside the house to their "revamped" schedule of stay, which I believe would be every single damn day, and get this, not only for 2-3 months just as they have informed me, but for TWO FRIGGIN' YEARS!!! And to think they expect me to pay all the bills - rent, electricity and water.

Talk about them wanting me to become independent and then deciding that I should still stay in their, ahem, "zone of parental love and guidance". Jesus F. Christ, I'm already 23 years old! I should be on my own already, regardless if I do get into a heap of trouble. I took to heart what they said regarding being independent and going into the world on my own, and then this.

Make no mistake about it, it's not so much that I don't want them around, they're pretty much welcome to stay in, but for the love of Jehoshaphat, they practically screwed me by faking that I could avail of a home with lesser costs without any strings attached, only to find out that they were just planning to fish me out into their area of command. And they got me hook, line, and sinker.

I guess it's about time they had a piece of my mind. This is practically history repeating itself again, only in another form. I'm taking the power back again...

Frustration Canto 77

2006-02-15T09:11:00.000+08:00

My morning kids are currently having their reprise exam now. I decided to give them another chance after their first take went haywire.

Their exam now is basically a two-item exam (NOTE: The exam is a hands-on programming exam using C) which is a slight modification of the first version of their exam. And considering that I've already discussed with them the answers to the exam items, this should be a REALLY easy chance to rack up some points.

But alas, from the look of things, things aren't really going as I perceived it to be.

Which now leads me to certain questions:

Am I at fault for not making them comprehend the lessons enough?
This is basically a give-away exam. Why is it that they still cannot get the answers?
Did they expect me to hand high grades on a silver platter?
Or do I really need to review my methods for imparting the lessons?

Make no mistake about it, these kids aren't dumb. In fact, they really are smart and intelligent. But where do the mistakes lie? This is really to be REALLY frustrating for me.

In Need Of A Good Idea

2006-02-13T14:45:00.000+08:00

I've just read a while ago that my advocated topic for a "novel" creative paper is not so "novel" anymore as I've formerly thought. Apparently, such an idea is already at least five or six years old. So much for my "brand-new" subject...

And now, I'm once again stuck in the throngs of stagnation as I have to come up with a proposal within three days. I hate it when that happens.

Boys and girls out there, if you have any (novel) idea or hypothesis on a topic for modelling bacterial (or even plain cellular) metabolism using game theory concepts, feel free to post 'em here on or before the third day from the date of this blog post. And yes, even if it may sound like, or even if IT IS a shit idea, I'd gladly welcome your contribution.

Mental Statistics

2006-02-07T15:15:00.000+08:00

If you were to take a peek inside my mind right now, and represent it in a Venn (or Euler, whoever you want to credit as its inceptor, if ever such a word exists) diagram, it would look something like this:

OK... 'nuff said, back to studying for tomorrow's exam.

Deeper Still...

2006-02-06T10:54:00.000+08:00

Things to come for the next two weeks:

February 8 (6-9 PM) - CS 210 long exam 1
February 9 (6 PM) - Deadline of CS 271 20-page project "proposal"
February 16 (4:30 PM) - Deadline of MS 397 creative paper topic proposal

Life just keeps on getting better for me...

Exhausted

2006-02-01T08:25:00.000+08:00

I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally tired, battered, bruised, beaten, thrashed, pummeled, pounded, hammered, bashed, whacked, smashed, jolted, crashed, slammed, cleaved, stabbed, skinned, wounded, injured, damaged, stirred, shaken, incapacitated, degraded, razed, pillaged, crushed, demolished, devastated, decimated, leveled, destroyed, obliterated, annihilated, extinguished, down for the count... but not quite dead, YET.

You know how the saying goes:

Fall down 7 times, get up 8 times, die O(n log n) times, where n > 8.

I think I'm really enjoying this now...

Flowing

2006-01-30T09:27:00.000+08:00

S.S.D.D... Same shit, different day.

I'm back here in the office / lab, and I'm still trying to break my impasse. I guess one good way of jumpstarting this day is to relay what I want (or is it need?) to relay here in this blog.

Firstly, I feel that my sense of urgency (to mature, to lay the foundations, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera) keeps growing stronger everyday. Not that it's a bad thing especially that I am now in my 23rd year of existence, but I think it's going to a point where I am feeling really frustrated whenever I can't acheive short-term, day-to-day goals, that I'm about to erupt any time soon and probably lash out on the first person I meet when that time comes.

It would also be noteworthy that coupled with this seemingly growing sense to hasten up is the fact that I'm beginning to get burned out - physically, mentally, and emotionally. I really am tempted to say that "Hey, I'm only human", but that would far be just making excuses on my part. Sad thing is, I'm really feeling the weight on my shoulders now, and I think I'm beginning to fall apart.

But make no mistake about it - I am trying to hold on with all that I've got. However, to augment what I utilize to hold myself together - determination, patience, delaying gratification, and the like - I am also using up some emotions that well, are unorthodox to say the least, and these would be anger, greed, envy, and utter selfishness (I think I've posted about this before). I wonder if these would be really helpful, albeit necessary, to my quest to reach the top, but for now I'm including them to my arsenal.

And then some... my project as a research assistant, my teaching job, my "other" projects, academic loads which include impending academic papers and projects, upcoming exams, and of course, the plan to hasten the endgame of my life as a Master's student.

Such is my life right now... but ironically, it's a situation I've been dying to be in ever since. So now, you may ask, am I beginning to regret that I wished to be in all of this now that I'm actually IN it? No. Not now. Not ever. Why? Because. Just because.

OK, let's see if can now become producitve, at least for today.

Crunch Time Part 1

2006-01-26T14:15:00.000+08:00

Face the risk...

Break the cycle...

Believe the hype...

Whatever people say, I can and will do this.

On Teaching

2006-01-17T09:43:00.000+08:00

One of my greatest passions ever is teaching, that's why I am thankful for the opportunities given to me to become a teacher of sorts in spite of my academic and personal history.

But in retrospect, I don't think that what I ever did was 'teach'... rather the classes I held was more of a conversation with my students. Looking back, I never really strictly went chalk-and-talk (well, save for the first few sessions of every class, which I admit to be nerve-wracking due to first time jitters or even probably classroom rust) with my class, I tried to make the sessions interactive, as if I was trying to invoke a normal talk with the studes. Luckily, most (if not all) students digged it, and they were responding (well, one way or the other, but responding nonetheless) quite well.

Quite honestly, I don't know if this is the right way of handling classes and 'teaching' though. But somehow, someway, I hope I was able to impart what needs to be imparted to the kids. And if their enthusiasm and gusto to go through 3-5 hours of academic hell every week with me is indeed genuine, then I'm really grateful that somehow, my method works... and that I've got students who are really patient and interested to venture into subjects via unorthodox means.

Don't Stay Home

2006-01-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

... And I didn't.

Just some shit to fill up the gap, people. Don't rack your brains trying to decipher the context of this post.

Unleash The Beast (?)

2006-01-09T09:54:00.000+08:00

I've been contemplating for months on the Department Chairman's information on the fact that I could finish my MS program before 2006 ends. It goes without saying that it will be a VERY tough road to take, but that will speed up the whole process of me getting to the next step academically.

With that, I am now really considering going through the fast lane... but this would mean that I have to pull the "Devil trigger". For years, I have repressed a side of me that's absurdly competitive and "extremely able" (to say the least, pardon for the lack of a better term). But with such capabilities come the trade-offs - those which stand out the most is that "It" is exorbitantly violent, impatient, and intolerant.

But I don't have much of a choice now do I? I need to pull this off. A lot of people depend on it. No other choice then... or do I?

First Straw

2006-01-03T00:02:00.000+08:00

It's currently 12:07 am (make that 12:08 am) here in 'R' Worldnet in Katips. What am I doing here (other than blogging)? WORK!!!

Yep, I'm trying to kickstart my working year by doing a(n almost) 24-hour marathon of pure, unadulterated, work-related, jackassery (if such a word exists). Well, let's just say I'm trying to see what it feels like to burn in hell even if it would just only take a fraction of an eternity... oh and yeah, I guess you could count in one of my New Year's Resolution (what was it again?) as a reason for doing this particular cunning stunt.

Only thing I would wish now is that there be no peeps around here so I could do OTHER equally cunning stunts with my terminal here, especially with DSL connection and all (but no torrent downloader, sadly). Oh well, can't win 'em all now, can I?

D.S.D.Y.

2006-01-02T08:53:00.000+08:00

New Year... Can't get any more cliche-ic than that. And to make it more cliche than it already is, let me publicly post my, ahem, "proposed personal changes" for this year. And no, I ain't talking about Cha-Cha or the like.

Material and financial prudence. I think one of the things that have really caused me a ton of problems last year was the fact that I wasn't able to manage material and financial resources too well. This time around, "I'll focus more on what I need, and not much to exceed" (Jesus, I need to stop with this catch-phrase gig... Hmm, another resolution...). Subsistence would be the name of the game for this particular goal.

Time management. I'll be throwing out the procrastination potion, and start delaying gratification. "What better time than now", right?

Shape-up physically. Currently, I'm 40 pounds overweight, constrained only to 10 minutes worth of rigorous motion, and can only muster around 90 pounds of resistance. I need to jack-down the weight, and jack-up the stamina and strength this year.

Shape-up emotionally. Persistence, patience, prudence, discipline, determination, discretion... Yep, all the P- and D-values and virtues you can think up ladies and gents.

Keep the word. Practice what I should preach, and stay true to my promises and commitments. Sums this baby up quite nicely, eh?

And finally, the last, and probably the best (and prolly the most enigmatic one) of all - MARRY FINALLY.

(Probably) My Last Entry For 2005

2005-12-21T10:05:00.000+08:00

It's really tough managing time... especially if you're a computer scientist / programmer / corporate whore.

First off, I got this project (well, a sub-task of the whole enchilada to be more accurate) which I need to deploy on January 2, 2006 - which is virtually less than two weeks away. I'm about 90% done with it, but I still have yet to conceptualize a way to finish off the remaining 10%.

On the other hand, I also need to start formulating a review of related literature for my master's thesis. The bad part about this is that, although this is not yet required any time within the next month, I have yet to concretize a starting point, i.e. a non-abstract, concise, and academically acceptable topic.

On another hand (wait, how many hands do I have?!!!), I also have these two papers which I need to do for two of my subjects in grad class.

Coincidentally, I also have this commitment with the son of my former boss that I would help him with his programming project during the Christmas break - which makes the term "Christmas break" such a big misnomer for me.

And how much have I done recently? Zero, nada, nil, zip. Guess I better start working my ass off later tonight. Or maybe tomorrow.

Season's Greetings

2005-12-19T12:34:00.000+08:00

To all of you out there who happen to pass by my blog, may the true spirit of the season (READ: NOT the materialistic, commercial one) be felt by one and all today and for the days to come.

Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year To All!!! ;D

Live For Suffer, Live For Revenge

2005-12-12T08:43:00.000+08:00

For love, for family, for pride, for honor, for money...

Yep these are some of the things that I consider reasons for carrying out things which I need to do day to day. But recently, I now consider another raison d'etre for going through the hell I am experiencing right now - vengeance.

That's right - because of all who have doubted me, who have disrespected me, who had no faith in me, who have stepped on me, my dignity, and my spirit and left me for dead, I have vowed to improve and better myself. I don't know how far I can go, but I am going the distance so I could one day finally pay you people back (again, you know who you mofos are).

Even if I have to burn my soul just to see you go down with me, I'll do it. But make no mistake about it folks, I don't want them to die or get hurt physically - that would be too good for them. But I'll make sure that they will feel my anger and hatred when I start pouncing on them on that day of reckoning.

Back To Basics

2005-12-08T11:56:00.000+08:00

OK...

No more fancy backgrounds, no more multiple pages, no more complex HTML coding and special effects...

This time my turf is just this plain and simple blog. Just me, my words, my gut, my face and my gas mask.

Let the show go on...

I Just Need To Get This Out...

2005-11-21T08:19:00.000+08:00

I'm currently facing one of humankind's greatest enemy - saturation. Although I'm fully aware that I need to finish this particular phase of my project for me to survive financially, I feel like leaving it alone and just forget about it. I really hate feeling like this, but sometimes, I can't help but just let it consume me.

But not today. Not now, not anymore, NOT EVER.

I'm already beyond 20 years of age, and I think it's about time I really stood up and not let myself be engulfed in saturation. And more than ever, my life is no longer about me - it's also about this lovely lady whom I REALLY want to be my wife in the soonest time possible... and it's also about the three kids who would be loved and cared for being our own offsprings, and who would carry on our legacy. These people now depend on me, so I have to keep on pushing now...

First Quarter Rush

2005-11-18T13:21:00.000+08:00

Seems my sem has just started, but I have to get a move on things now. Yup, get a move on, PRONTO.

I have a deliverable in my Research Assistant's project that needs to be submitted by the end of November, i.e. November 29. I'm actually around 80% to 85% done, but the remaining 10% to 15% requires a ton of effort. That shouldn't be really bad, but with 9 units worth of academic load for the Master's program, and the pace of all those subjects I took really picking up before the looming Christmas break (Yeah, Christmas break for the students but not for us working guys), things look pretty grim here at my end.

Thankfully, I'm trained for this kind of situation. Problem is, can I really make it? Tune in to find out!

Walk The Line

2005-11-14T09:25:00.000+08:00

Looks like I'm becoming more and more incoherent with my statements lately. My high school English teacher will SURELY lambast me for conjuring up paragraphs consisting of incoherent sentences. Guess I have to do that outlining exercise again. Whew.

On another note, it's the first Monday of a brand new semester today, meaning I'll be having classes again later from 4 to 9 PM (with a short break from 5:30 to 6, but I guess that amount of time will be used up walking from one building to the next). So, it looks like I'll be going home late again today.

Hmm... I wonder what kind of challenges await for me later...

Classes Start Today And One Other Thing..

2005-11-10T08:07:00.000+08:00

First day of my semester today.

Hope I do well this term. I really, REALLY need it to be a good sem.

And I see sploggers abound my web space now as well. Oh well, side effects of capitalism I guess.

See The Mirror, You'll See A Fool

2005-11-08T11:42:00.000+08:00

I predict that dark days are once again ahead of me this coming semester - Second Semester Syndrome.

How far will I go this time around? Hope I don't screw things up now. I've been given, strangely, way too many chances to get back and vindicate myself in the past. Make no mistake about it; I'm thankful for all the opportunities given to me from up above for all the booboos I've commited before, but I'm beginning to think that I may slowly run out of luck if I keep on giving up fouls over and over rapidly.

Anyway, I guess I have to focus on what's on hand first. Sure, it'll be tough, and challenges will definitely arrive in droves the next few days, but if I try to concentrate on one problem at a time, I guess I can make it through. Sadly, I only realized this after 22 years of existence.

Well, better than realizing that I am not the most important person in the world after almost 40 years, right?

B(L)ack And Blue

2005-11-07T09:06:00.000+08:00

Seems I have been away for a very loooong time.

Anyhow, guess my fears were simply imaginary as the Dynamic Duo - Maverick Only and Ariel With A Capital A - are now back on the tube. Yep, they did lose the Misad show, but they were given two new shows. And for me, two-for-one ain't so much of a bad deal (although personally, I wish they'd revamp the Thursday night one - it sort of lacks luster and is really dry). Well, that's that.

And me? Well, just got back from a vacation, you know, the post-semestral type. I did manage to survive the two courses I enrolled in last semester, and I believe I won't be getting the boot from the program. And as addendum, the boss was really happy with how I progressed with my work, alhtough personally, I am really disgusted with how I went on with my project.

Finally, I bade farewell to my teaching job over at Pampanga. It's really nice being there and I don't mind coming back to teach there once again, but physical as well as mental constraints brought about by the rigors of my full-time project have coerced me to decide this path. To my studes, if you're reading this, thanks for the memories and keep on rollin'...

Well, I guess, that sums up what I have been doing (and thinking) these past few weeks. Updates on this journal may now come regularly. Of course, note that the operational word in the previous sentence is "may".

Vernacularity

2005-10-17T09:01:00.000+08:00

BAKIT WALANG MISAD NUNG SABADO? WALA NA BA YUNG SHOW? HINDI KO NA BA MAPAPANOOD SINA ARIEL WITH A CAPITAL 'A' AT MAVERICK ONLY?!!! MAGUGUNAW NA BA ANG MUNDO?!!!!

Say Anything At All

2005-09-20T08:15:00.000+08:00

At 1800H, I will now embark on a final step to perdition or damnation... It's our final examination in our CS 255 class. And it will be a debate.

I don't know how sharp my argument and debating skills are right now especially that I haven't been doing much arguing as of lately, but hopefully I could pull off a MUCH NEEDED hat trick later.

Wish me luck people.

Fate Sealing

2005-09-14T10:06:00.000+08:00

Usually when I decide on some things, I virtually close my eyes and jump into nothingness. I care not whether it brings me fortune or shame - what matters to me is that I have decided fully and that I have to face whatever I have to face in the course that will follow my decision.

Most of the time, this is what irks people around me - this devil-may-care attitude I've been harbouring. But they do need to understand that when you ask me to decide, I will decide selfishly, i.e. based on what my instincts and experience tell me. I don't care if it's favorable to everyone (although that's usually my criterion, that I hardly follow if I may add, for making such judgments), because as long as you let me become captain of the ship, I only have myself to really ask and consult for finalities and decisions.

And now, this vicious cycle, starts once again...

A Little Bit More...

2005-09-13T08:39:00.000+08:00

Gut check time once again, people.

Around two or three weeks more of fun and excitement here in grad school, and I'm still wondering as to how I'm really faring. I'm gunning for something high, but based on my own gauges, I think I'm a bit off-target... OK, remove the "bit" part, I AM off-target. But if I know myself pretty well, I still have some aces hidden somewhere, and I'm quite sure I could pull them off to gain the trump. I just hope I get them out in the most appropriate time.

Break The Silence

2005-09-12T09:52:00.000+08:00

Sorry for keeping quiet for quite some time. I'm trying to prevent my life from further delineation, and that requires (at least to me) a whole lot of concentration and expenditure of internal energy (which I have always believed to be causing me worse exhaustion than plain physical labor).

Now let me see, what have I missed... Nothing much I guess: Impeachment's been totally trashed, calls for the President's overthrow still mounting, 1 US dollar is still roughly 56 pesos, the RP cagers finally won its first international championship although FIBA hasn't lifted its suspension on RP basketball, Hurricane Katrina seriously damaged New Orleans, Michael Schumacher's no longer F1 king, the UP Fighting Maroons basketball team has once again failed in their bid to join the UAAP Final Four, Pacquiao winning yet another match, totally opposite of what happened to Morales's bout.

Yep... guess I haven't missed much of what's goin' on around the block these days...

100

2005-08-25T12:11:00.000+08:00

One down, two to go.

Two to go...

Two to go...

Two to...

Two...

...

Fuck, I'm tired.

Say Something

2005-08-20T17:29:00.000+08:00

Pop quiz, hotshot:

You're given a chance to choose one AND ONLY ONE job... one is that which you love most, but of suckingly low income; or another which you don't actually love, nor even at the least bit, like , but pays really good cash?

So, for love or for money? For soul or survival?

What do you do?

WHAT DO YOU DO?!!!

Contemplate, Then Hyperventilate

2005-08-17T10:34:00.000+08:00

7 days...

2 deadlines..

1 project...

1 paper...

20 pages...

1 man...

How much more fun can life be for me? (READ: sarcasm)

Judgment Call

2005-08-13T11:20:00.000+08:00

Wounds heal...

Atleast everything ended well after that long embattlement.

Sometimes, I just have to give up and swallow my pride to clean up messes, and that's what I just did.

I'm not sourgraping mind you. In fact, I'm really happy that eveything finally went smooth, especially when things went on the brink of total anarchy.

In Bold Letters

2005-08-10T15:44:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU ALL.

(You know who you people are.)

Govinda

2005-08-09T15:51:00.000+08:00

I'm currently taking a breather from my last-minute review for my class later. Words suddenly flashed from my mind - "The fatal flaw to any plan is the assumption that you know more than your enemy." I sort of forgotten EXACTLY where I got hold of that line, although I 'm quite sure it's from one of those Magic: The Gathering card quotations I've been browsing thru way back then.

I know I've ran through all the readings countless times these past few days, but it kinda makes me nervous 'coz I'm really not quite sure if I have absorbed enough data to make the cut. And thing is, the only way to really find out if I did get enough info is when I have gone through the exam, and see the results.

OK, I'm gonna go back reading them notes again, for the last time. Wish me luck, people.

Defiance

2005-08-02T11:47:00.000+08:00

Ever since I became addicted to Incubus music (THANKS to Lyle, the mondo-magical-announcer-vocaler brother of mine) there always be this one piece that would gradually become a commanding theme for a certain period. Right now, it's the song 'Out From Under'. Here are the lyrics:

To resist is to piss in the wind,
Anyone who does will end up smelling
Knowing this why do I defy,
'Cuz my inner voice is yelling
There is a fist pressing against,
Anyone who thinks something compelling
Our intuit we're taught to deny
And our soul we're told is for selling
Get out from under them
Resist and multiply
Get out from under precipice
Bless and see the sky

God bless us for bringing Brandon Boyd and his band to this world!

I Hope I Get A Jobby Freddy, 'Coz I Got My Fingers Crossed...

2005-07-20T14:25:00.000+08:00

I do hope my Hon-Hon lands the job. She had her interview a while ago in Ortigas, and I'm praying hard she gets hired. Her confidence and self-esteem have received countless blows these past few days that this opportunity means so much to her.

But I have tons of confidence in her abilities, and I firmly believe she has the capabilities that best fit the job she is applying for. Now it's up to her employers if she could (finally) make the cut.

Would You Like To See The Future?

2005-07-18T08:51:00.000+08:00

When I get myself well-grounded, what I want to be is become a husband and a father (Hi Hon-Hon! :) ), ergo have a family of my own - a loving wife and 3 wonderful kids.

But when I look outside, listen to the radio, watch TV, or read the paper, it makes me wonder - what kind of world would I bring our children into? Hell, I am a risk taker, make no mistake about it. But when I take risks, I make sure that as much as possible, no one else takes the gamble (and probably the fall) when I do jump into the abyss. That's why I keep asking, is this the kind of environment that I want my kids to grow up in? I mean, even if I become the best dad (and my wifey the best mom in the world) in the world, how would I guarantee that my kiddies would grow up safely and mature properly with all that's happening right now directly affecting the future my offsprings would reside in?

I still worry about that, and sometimes that is ALL I think about for long periods. Well, what say you people?

I'm Going To Draw In Fire

2005-07-12T10:16:00.000+08:00

I know that what I'm going to say will also apply to me, but I'm gonna say it anyway:

WE DESERVE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH OUR COUNTRY TODAY.

Yes, I firmly believe that it's our fault why prices have shot up, the quality of life has gone from bad to worse, and that we have really incompetent people in our government today. Time and time again, history keeps on resurfacing as if lessons supposedly evident from the past never really existed, much less mattered. We still keep on repeating the same mistakes, and then try to throw off the blame when shit finally happens.

Sometimes it sickens me to think that this happens considering that all of us are given the rationality to discern what should and should not be done. And sometimes it sickens me more when I myself do it. So what will happen from here on end? Will we further bask in suffering? Or will we finally wake up and do something (GOOD) about it?

Rain Falls

2005-07-05T09:53:00.000+08:00

It's raining outside. Maybe the downpour could just be classified as a mere drizzle, but the gust of wind makes you think other wise.

During these days, what I want to do is that I would just sprawl in my bed then sleep, or probably eat exorbitant amounts of whatever-is-edible-around.

But still, duty calls. And I have answered. Not to mention my class later on. Oh well.

Turn Of The Tide

2005-07-04T09:13:00.000+08:00

Jump out from one ship with my eyes closed and board into another...

Basically that's the analogy of my "professional" situation right now. And now that I have left CRS behind me (probably just for a while, or maybe FOREVER), I'm now focusing on a much... "peculiar" line of work. It's not that it's utterly strange in the strictest sense of the word, but rather, it's new (at least to me).

In any case, I have to make the most out of it, especially that the one thing that hasn't changed at all is that I have to fend for myself, all on my own.

In Memoriam

2005-06-28T08:55:00.000+08:00

This day has finally come... And honestly, I don't feel anything about it. In fact, I feel numb.

But as I sit in this chair and type in this keyboard, still an employee of the University of the Philippines Diliman Computerized Registration System (UPD-CRS), but for the very last time (probably), nostalgia ensues - but only for a minute fraction of time.

Because I don't want to remember, I don't need to remember...

That sort of fulfillment I felt when I saw my work, my creation, being utilized (and somehow, appreciated) not only by students, but by faculty, administrative, and other non-academic personnel of this University...

That exhaustion I felt every time I had to rush in developing very small projects, but to which I invested a wave of emotions and the whole of my being knowing I am giving back something to this Institution I have loved ever so dearly...

That warmth I felt when people commended me for doing a "job well done"; that humility I felt when people lambasted me for a variety of reasons, mostly because of the system's (as well as my) "inefficiencies"...

That joy, sometimes albeit with frustration, I felt when I dealt with all types of people, whether they be my workmates , my superiors, or even those people I tend to when problems and queries arise with one or more of the modules in the system...

But most of all, that feeling of desperation, of hopelessness, and of helplessness when...

And now as I board the bus to the next chapter of my life, I shall now leave behind these headstones, and maybe I might come back. And maybe by then, when I look at these mementos, the ghosts from what was buried may have finally alighted, and I may finally take a deep breath.

Segnos

2005-06-08T08:34:00.000+08:00

I feel it again... that eerie chill in my bones signaling that something is brewing ahead. Something ominous. Something powerful. Something dreadful.

There's a storm yonder - slowly but immensely forming - and I can feel the electricity running through the air.

But this cataclysm is not for me to experience... it is for them.

Defense Vs. Defense

2005-06-07T11:01:00.000+08:00

It's official: It'll be the defending champs, the Detroit Pistons, going up against the San Antonio Spurs.

East's No.2 seed mano-il-mano with West's No. 2 seed.

Defense versus Defense.

What I consider to be the 'Dream Match' for this season of the highly touted cage tourney in world.

They said that 'Offense wins you games, but defense brings you championships'. If this is so, then whose defense will prove stronger, and thus prevail?

Will the reigning champs make it two in a row?

Or will the Spurs sport another championship ring in their hands?

Jump With Your Eyes Closed

2005-06-07T08:42:00.000+08:00

Lemme see...

9:00 am - Inquire about my tuition fee subsidy at the CS department office / faculty room (And hopefully, pay up, so that I could get this enrollment over with)
12:00 nn - Lunch (hopefully with my Hon-Hon :) )
1:00 pm - Meeting with the other RA's for the workplan and tele-conferencing sked
5:30 pm - JRDC's (with me as one of the 'imports') first game (against a team whose name I know nothing about) for the 3-on-3 cage tourney
6:00 pm - (Supposedly) Our first meeting for our CS 255 class for this semester

Did I miss anything?

New Old Things

2005-06-06T08:58:00.000+08:00

New work, old familiar place.

Same subjects to teach, brand new faces to be taught.

Yes... another academic year has arrived, and another chapter of my life begins to unfold. I guess this "breath of fresh air" concept is somehow giving me a bit of rejuvenation. I'm now just banking that the ride ahead wouldn't be as rough as the one I had. Or at least, if ever the road ahead is as tough, or even tougher, than the one I had, I pray (YES, you heard me right, PRAY) that I would somehow muster enough courage and strength to tread the path.

Now, enough chit-chat, I'm going back to work...

Enrollment Yet Again

2005-06-03T09:36:00.000+08:00

Hacked, locked and stocked.

All that's left is the pay-out and I'm all set for another semester full of fun and excitement. (NOTE: There's a tinge of underlying sarcasm here.)

All for the love of knowledge (and money, of course - higher degree means higher market value, methinks).

Question now is, when will my tuition fee be handed down to me?

Cyclical Viciousness

2005-06-01T10:15:00.000+08:00

Oops, I did it again.

Shit.

I guess I let my guard down again, and made another major blunder. One of the things I hate is repeating the same mistakes again and again. And it's happening all over again. Guess, I have to put myself on top of my hate list again.

When will this stop?

The Fact That You Think It's Funny DOESN'T REALLY Mean It Is

2005-05-30T07:23:00.000+08:00

It's just about 7:30 in the morning, and I am right here in the office already. Well, actually, I've been here since around 7 am. There was some task that I forgot to do last Saturday, that is needed today, so I went in early and tried to finish it.

Part 1 would be creating a certain document - Mission Accomplished.

Part 2 would be printing it - now here's where the rub lies. Apparently, with around a couple of pages left, the feed tray ran out of paper, and look Ma, no more paper!

Funny, eh? Guess Col. Murphy's still lingering around this office...

Burying The Hatchet

2005-05-27T08:33:00.000+08:00

My days are numbered... as an employee here in my current institution, that is. Still having that mixed feeling of excitement and sadness I've been yapping about a couple of posts before. But this time, it has never been this... concrete.

I say this because now, the boss finally has heard it straight from yours truly that I am finally going aboard another train. He took it (surprisingly) well, and it's just a matter of who will be my replacement for the job. It's not as if my tasks are that critical or hard, but nonetheless, they (the tasks) are still important to get things going around here, so they still worry (although a bit) about me leaving.

But I guess, that's the least of my problems now, right? I got bigger fish to fry now.

Table

2005-05-25T09:19:00.000+08:00

I have finally gone through the big gamble, and now it seems like everything's paying off. I just hope I don't fall into any traps though... sometimes, the sensation of victory is the lure of defeat. However, it isn't as if I haven't done some security check before, so I'll still be extra careful.

On another note, the countdown has begun. It's just a matter of time before I step out of this office as a non-personnel. It's kinda strange how it will feel when the institution you have given 2 years worth of your sweat, blood, and tears (2 years of YOUR LIFE, for that matter) will no longer be the institution you will enter at (more or less) 8 in the morning, and leave at (more or less) 5 in the afternoon. But I guess it'll be OK. It's as if it will be the high school to college transition all over again I believe.

Well, for now, back to work... again.

Whooping Cough

2005-05-24T08:22:00.000+08:00

Funny how one small thing conjures up a world of discomfort for me. I had this minor (and for a while, seemingly irrelevant) cough after I took a bath this morning. I dismissed the fact that it might be a biggie, and that I only did that to somehow clear the itch off my throat.

An hour later, I've been exhibiting asthma-like symptoms, and now not only am I coughing up like hell and breathing with that wheezing sound in my chest, my sinuses are crashing in the party as well. Cough, wheeze, sneeze, cough, wheeze, sneeze... Ah shoot, I guess my body's rebelling against me again.

I just hope it doesn't get any worse than this later...

Rise From The Ashes And Claim What Is Due

2005-05-23T07:33:00.000+08:00

Woah, it's been almost two weeks (WAIT, it HAS BEEN two weeks) since my last post here. Anyhow, got back from the workshop, and I sure did learn a whole lot of things there. Things I'm supposed to know since I took up a couple of classes to earn my bachelor's degree in computer science.

Anyway, I'm back here in the office... but not for TOO long, I guess. Although I still have some matters left unsettled with the authorities here. So later, I would give them an offer they CANNOT refuse (with a high degree of probability, that is). I hope what I would declare later would finally give some closure to the fiasco that transpired some months ago (partially due to my own ignorance ^_^;; ).

As for the next few minutes, I'll just be listening to my newly acquired (thanks to my Hon-Hon) Wilson Phillips CD. And the waiting game ensues...

'Consequence' Is A Bigger Word Than 'Me'

2005-05-09T16:20:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow I'll be heading out to Los Banos for a workshop. And I guess with that, I've finally decided to fully step out of my current full-time job.

I'm feeling relieved and scared at the same time. Relieved, because I've finally mustered enough courage to take the first step 'out of the corridors', and ironically, scared because I know not what will happen from here on end.

The only motivating thought regarding this new endeavor of mine is the fact that for me to progress, I must have the grapefruits to let go of what I have now. But then again, is the juice worth the squeeze?

So Much For Healing The Nation...

2005-05-05T09:45:00.000+08:00

This entry from the PCIJ's blog... well... I can't really explain it. Guess I'll have to stick with my suking drugstore whenever I need my meds. Oh well. *shrugs with that cynical smirk*

Sand Pouring From The Faucet

2005-05-04T09:23:00.000+08:00

I guess it's about time I just made things plain and simple for people to understand me. I have been doing a lot of things 'in good faith' and yet people say that my intentions are of taint. I don't know. I do know that I have this priniciple of 'doing your own thing', regardless of what others may say, and make no mistake about it, I still hold firmly to it.

But sometimes, I'm beginning to believe that man is certainly a social animal (which I don't believe, FYI), because I'm beginning to feel the pain of loneliness. What's more painful (and sad) is the fact that I am surrounded by people who care for me and love me, and yet I still feel such bitter seclusion. Am I going through another phase? Or am I really clinically mentally ill now?

I don't know. Despite all the knowledge, all the experience I have gained through the years, I now feel really empty.

Nothing Good To Write

2005-05-03T08:56:00.000+08:00

After a 3-day rest, I'm now back here in the office. I still feel lazy after that long (yes, you're reading it right, "3 days" is a long enough period for me) hiatus, and I still wish I'm dozing off at this moment, but reality dictates that in order for me to get by another month, I should be here now and that I should get my ass to work, pronto. Not that I'm complaining, really. I just have that sort of lag that would make my brain run like a 486 when it should operate at more or less 3 GHz. Maybe that's why I'm writing this entry right now, to kick start my noggin into working at near maximum potential.

But somehow, it isn't really working at all...

Lost Earring

2005-04-29T08:20:00.000+08:00

Funny when one thing, a very small thing which is supposedly important to you yet something you take for granted, gets lost.

Then you look for it, prodding every nook and cranny in the hope of finding it, hoping that somehow, it was just misplaced. That search will take you minutes, then hours, then days, then weeks... and so on.

Desperate and on the verge (or even in the midst) of tears, you give up. You accept that it is forever lost. A bitter pill to swallow. But you have to move on, you say to yourself.

Then last night, while you're seating in the cubicle, of all the things you would be doing in that point of moment, something strikes you. A small beam of light hits your eye. Then you find it. You've found it, that one small thing. You smile, then laugh. Then maybe burst into tears. Of joy.

How could one minute object break you, then make you the happiest being alive? Maybe that's life. Sometimes, you should pay attention to the smallest things around you. Those later on might turn out to be your greatest joy. Or your greatest sorrow.

Guess My Hon-Hon's Right....

2005-04-27T13:40:00.000+08:00

Your nerdiness is:

Supreme Nerd. Apply for a professorship at MIT now!!!.

Crap this.

Old School Rock And Graduation(s)

2005-04-26T08:34:00.000+08:00

The last of the CoRSAIR trio has finally graduated last Saturday! I know he's been waiting for this a long time now, and finally, he did it... and truly, we could finally say that we have achieved 'Mission Accomplished' status. So, to Mr. John Fallarme Surban, Congratulations And All The Best In The World To You, my friend!!! Mabuhay ang CoRSAIR!!! Mabuhay ang Fighting Parrots!!!

Found a gold mine! We (me and my Hon-Hon) went to Tower Records in Shangri-La last Sunday to check out some stuff, and to my surprise, I found 2 CDs I've been hunting these past few years: Wolfgang's first album and The Best Of Yano album! Lucky! Now I can relive the fond memories of days gone by... back when I was still a uniform-wearing geek...

On another note, some of my students graduated yesterday, and as I promised them some days ago, I attended their graduation ceremony. Of course, I trodded in (there's a processional prior to the event proper) as part of the faculty... and being the retard that I am, I can't help but be a showboat. So I walked along the aisle as a pro wrestler would, to the amusement of a couple of people.

Another one of my showboating took place when the University hymn was sung. I sang while raising my fist, as if I'm in one of those UAAP games. I didn't care if I was the only one doing it at that time, but to me, it was a way of showing pride that I am singing the song, as part of the University. Then to my surprise (and delight), the graduates (or at least some of them) joined in as the second part of the song was being sung.

But the spotlight really belongs to the graduates. They've went the distance, and finally, they've made it after 4 or more years of academic toil. Of course, having experienced going through graduation about a year ago, I still can feel that same electricity in the air... only this time it's THEIR time.

So, with this, I end this entry with a resounding CONGRATULATIONS to all graduates, but most especially TO MY STUDENTS (you know who you are ;) ).

Some Facts (?) About Vin Diesel

2005-04-22T09:17:00.000+08:00

Vin Diesel taught Yoda the ways of the force.
Vin Diesel can express the square root of -1 as a real number.
Vin Diesel has secretly been every Pope the last 350 years, with the exception of Pope John Paul II (who was actually John Cusack).
Vin Diesel can divide by 0.
Vin Diesel once got so angry at a man that he punched him hard enough to cause his ancestors to feel it. This is how Napoleon lost the Battle of Waterloo.
Only about a thousandth of Vin Diesel's mass is expressed in the three dimensions we can perceive.
Vin Diesel can walk on water, not because he is Jesus, but because the normal force as described by Newton in his modern laws of physics does not apply to him.
Vin Diesel invented the phrase "0WN3D" after a fist-fight with Gandhi, the details of which he has never released.
Vin Diesel made a vow to only use his powers for good. However one night he got really drunk and killed a hooker. The police never found a body though, since Vin disposed of the corpse by unhinging his jaw and swallowing it whole.
He wrote a 5th Gospel, the Gospel of Vin, which was removed from the bible due to its controversial mention Jesus' dog, Skittles.
Vin once went sledding in New Hampshire and broke the sound barrier by turning his head around and blowing forcefully. As a result of the shock waves, several children died. Vin ascended to heaven and repeatedly punched God in the eye until he brought them all back to life. Every single one of those children are now scientists.
Vin Diesel is the sound of one handed clapping.
Vin Diesel once coveted his neighbor's wife, but God did not smite him, recalling a rather humiliating chess match.
When Vin Diesel coughs, people in a three foot radius lose their memories of who they are and where they are going.
Vin Diesel engineered a projection device that allows him to watch all of our lives like a movie, almost how we watch his movies. To him, we are celebrities, and he knows how our story will end. Ask him how yours will end and he will end it FOR YOU.

This and more here. But I think the site's under construction... for now.

Happy Bir... WHAT THE F- - -?!!!

2005-04-21T11:04:00.000+08:00

This is just one for the books.

Here's a snippet from that particular site:

Did you know Happy Birthday is copyrighted and the copyright is currently owned and actively enforced by Time Warner?

Did you know that if you sing any copyrighted song:
...at a place open to the public
...or among a substantial number of people who are not family or friends
You are involved in a public performance of that work?

Did you know an unauthorized public performance is a form of copyright infringement?

Well, only if you use it for commercial purposes, that is. ;P

Uh-oh...

2005-04-21T10:13:00.000+08:00

And I thought that it's bad enough that the RP Basketball team's already facing a multitude of internal problems, here's another potential external problem (as accounted for by Mr. Joaquin Henson):

7-9 Chinese giant training for NBA

A behemoth taller than 7-7 Gheorge Muresan, 7-7 Manute Bol, 7-6 Shawn Bradley and 7-6 Yao Ming is training in Greesboro, North Carolina, to become the tallest player ever to see action in the National Basketball Association (NBA).

What’s alarming to Filipino fans is 7-9 Sun Ming Ming is Chinese. That means he’s eligible to play alongside Yao, 6-11 Batere Mengke, 7-1 Tang Zhengdong and 7-0 Yi Jianlian on the Chinese national team playing in the FIBA-Asia Championships in Doha, Qatar, in September.

There’s no more imposing lineup than that in Asia. The possibility of 7-1 Wang Zhizhi returning to play for the national team isn’t too remote and his addition could only be a plus for China, preparing to make a splash at the World Championships in Saitama, Japan, next year, and the Beijing Olympics in 2008.

China isn’t just teeming with frontline talent. Lithuanian coach Jonas Kauslauskas is assembling a national pool that’s deep at every spot. Incidentally, his assistants are three former national players–Hu Weidong, Adijiang and Min Lulei. Both Adijiang and Min were point guards. Min quarterbacked the China squad that lost to coach Ron Jacobs’ scrappy all-Filipino quintet in the finals of the Asian Youth Championships here in 1982.

Kauslauskas was Del Harris’ assistant on the China team that saw action at the Athens Olympics last year.

A week ago, a list of 18 players was announced to comprise China’s national pool. The roster excluded Batere (who’s now the China league’s leading scorer with a 28.1 clip), Wang Zhizhi and Sun.

Familiar names in the pool are Liu Wei, Zhang Jinsong, Li Nan, Mo Ke, Du Feng, Gong Songlin, Yao, Yi and Tang.

Hu Xuefeng is tipped to start at point guard, the position where China is traditionally weakest. His chief backup could be Lu Xaioming. Veteran Liu Wei will be the stabilizer.

China hoops watcher Arthur Volbert noted that 14 of the 18 Chinese players in the pool were born in 1980 or later, showing the continuing development of national cagers. Only two players Li Nan and Zhang Jinsong are 30 and over.

"I predict that for the 12-man 2008 Olympic team, at least six players will be born in 1985 or thereafter," said Volbert. "Only Yi Jianlian, among this group, is that young."

Sun is supposed to be 22. His height is officially 7-8 3/4 but it’s rounded up to 7-9. He’s a centimeter taller than North Korean mastodon Ri Myong Hun.

Volbert said Sun, who is from Harbin (site of the last FIBA-Asia Championships two years ago), is being trained by Keith Gatlin for a shot at the NBA. His agent was identified as Charles Bonsignore.

"With his size, that intrigues everybody," said Gatlin. "He can really shoot the ball to be that size. The challenge for him is to get mobile, to get up and down the court."

High Point University track coach James Wilson was called in to work on Sun’s mobility for over a month. "His flexibility has improved to where he can lift his knees higher and he gets up and down the court more smoothly," said Volbert.

Size, however, is no guarantee for a ticket to the NBA. Ri was trained by former Canadian national coach Jack Donohue in Ottawa for months as an NBA prospect several years back. Although he never applied for the draft because of the US ban on relating with anything North Korean, it was widely accepted Ri wouldn’t have made an impact in the pros.

Sun’s problem is he suffers from acromegaly, a chronic hyperpituitarism marked by progressive enlargement of the hands, feet and face. It’s the same problem that 7-6 Japanese center Yasutaka Okayama–once drafted by the Golden State Warriors but never suited up in the NBA–and 7-5 Chinese center Mu Tze-Zhu had.

Muresan also had acromegaly but managed to play six years in the NBA and even won the Most Improved Player award once. "Eventually, leg and foot problems resulting from or aggravated by the condition cut Muresan’s career short," said Volbert. "Like Sun, Muresan was a great shooter and had good hands."

Another giant whom national coach Chot Reyes may encounter in Doha is South Korea’s 7-3, 305-pound center Ha Seung Jin who’s only 19. Ha is the first Korean to play in the NBA and this season, he’s compiled totals of 13 points, 13 rebounds and five blocked shots in 18 games for the Portland Trail Blazers. Ha is averaging just 4.4 minutes a game for the Blazers but his place in the history books is assured.

Reyes’ 20-man national pool lists 10 players standing 6-5 or more. They are 6-8 Yancy de Ocampo, 6-8 Rafi Reavis, 6-7 Anthony Washington, 6-7 Sonny Thoss, 6-6 Danny Seigle, 6-6 Kerby Raymundo, 6-6 Eric Menk, 6-6 Romel Adducul, 6-5 Enrico Villanueva and 6-5 Kelly Williams.

The drawback is none comes close to Yao, Tang, Yi, Sun or Ha in terms of ceiling. Reyes’ creativity will be put to a test as he strategizes how to defend against the giants. Keeping the ball away from their hands is key so that means pressure on the distributor and denial of the entry pass. It’s not easily done but in Reyes’ book, nothing is impossible.

Lesson In Humility

2005-04-20T08:25:00.000+08:00

Being financially independent, and an acting breadwinner, I am really proud that I am able to earn some dough on my own. And I'm even prouder (if ever such a word exists) knowing that I can save and maintain a relatively large amount of money in the bank. But sometimes this "pride" goes out of rational margin, and bloats my ego to soaring proportions. And with this, I begin to hurt people unknowingly... most especially HER.

This happened for two days consecutively. And when she finally flushed it yesterday, I finally fell to my knees, figuratively of course. That experience roused me to anger at first, but the lessons finally sank in when she treated me to lunch. It wasn't the grandest of meals, but to me, it was, because for a brief moment, I was shown that I am not the only person who can treat somebody to a meal; and that because she did that wholeheartedly and unconditionally, even though the money she spent was most probably all she had left in that moment.

I was all smiles at that time, but inside I was crying. Crying in shame... crying because I knew I did her wrong and yet she still sincerely did that maybe not only to make me see that I am at fault, but because she wanted to, and that she still cared for me in spite of all that I did to her.

I don't know if I'll perpetually remember this lesson (maybe that's why I'm writing it in this blog), but this was really one for the books. It was one of those times that it felt really good being brought to earth and being made to kiss it... because this is where we all start, and where we will all end.

Virtue Of Selfishness

2005-04-19T08:18:00.000+08:00

I have been asking myself today... 'Why the hell am I writing what's been going on in my life here in this blog?' Is it because I want to get noticed? Is it because I want to entertain unknown faces? Is it because I want to inform people of things they might have no idea that such things and concepts existed? Or is it because I just want to brag?

Then it occurred to me, the most accurate, and concordantly, more important answer to that particular query:

BECAUSE I CHOSE TO.

Gutter Run!

2005-04-18T08:53:00.000+08:00

To all Initial D fans out there, check this site out:

Initial D The Movie (LIVE ACTION!!!)

Boy, Hong Kong sure is keeping its tradition of bringing to life Japanese animation. I hope the street action is as intense as that in the anime. I kinda recognize some of the characters who starred in Gen X and Gen Y Cops, so I reckon this should be interesting. Can't wait how this turns out.

SALVATION!!!

2005-04-15T09:47:00.000+08:00

Who would have thought that a (more or less) 20 year-old technology could save my ass this day? I've finally got my machine jacked-up and good-to-go once again thanks to an MS-DOS boot disk! What I did was boot-up in MS-DOS prompt (using the disk) and copied my well-hidden back-up OS kernel and replaced the corrupted one, rebooted, and VOILA! My terminal's in tip-top shape again (well, relatively speaking :D).

Anyway, I think I'll pass up my hacking exercises for today. Got a shit load of work to do...

Hack... THEN Slashed

2005-04-15T08:44:00.000+08:00

Been trying something different lately... I'm trying to do some simple hacks on my Windows XP machine here at the office, basically by MANUALLY changing the boot screen and log-on screens (YES, you may say 'Hey, you could just download boot and log-on screens from some sites, you know?'... Hell, what can I say, I'M RETARDED. ;P).

I was successful in changing the log-on screen, customizing it as I changed the standard blue background into my Captain Tita (from Plastic Little) wallpaper, and changing part of the layout of the same screen.

The next part, altering the boot-up screen, was a bit of a challenge... and quite a catastrophe. Accomplishing (or at least trying to) this part would mean that I would have to dabble with the OS's kernel, and needless to say, it would be a VERY (actually, this is an understatement) hazardous attempt to do so. Well, I did it anyway (because I'M RETARDED ;P), and I would spare you the details on how I did it (Anyway, you can Google the how-tos.) . First, the background did not appear, so I did a tad bit of tweaking. The next try... WHOOP, THERE IT IS!!!! The boot screen's background's been successfully replaced! Then out of nowhere, BAM!!! The infamous Blue Screen of Death...

I thought rebooting my machine would cure it, but NO, it did not. The BSoD kept reappearing, preventing me from even going to the log-on screen. My best guess is that I hacked the kernel too much that I busted it wide open enough for it to be corrupted. Well, guess I have to wait for our hardware specialist so I can borrow the XP installer, and do some recovery work on my terminal.

So kiddies, what's the lesson here? Fairly simple, I'M RETARDED (Oh, and yeah, curiosity killed the cat, or something like that ;) ).

Run And Gun

2005-04-14T10:15:00.000+08:00

SUSPICIONS CONFIRMED.

Something DID go wrong - as my intuitions were proven correct. Thankfully, it wasn't as worse as I pessimistically thought - me and the guys were able to work to resolve the dilemma in a jiffy. Now, everything's back to soothing serenity here in the office.

Then again, for how long?

Early Warning

2005-04-14T07:34:00.000+08:00

7:30 AM... Usually, the serenity of the moment soothes my already tormented soul. Somehow, it doesn't feel that way today. This silence, EERIE quietness, feels really ominous. As if the path of destruction is slowly, and stealthily, being paved. Or maybe I'm just paranoid.

But still, I do not feel all too easy...

An officemate just came in...

Something is not right today. I just hope that, if I'm bound to find out what it is, it won't explode right in my face.

Quo Vadis?

2005-04-12T07:27:00.000+08:00

Had one of those nights again... One of those nights when I just stare at the ceiling, in the dark, with that one proverbial question in mind... WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE NOW?

I know it's not always right to worry too much about the future, and that I should make the best out of what I have (and what I am) right now. But then again, I don't want to end up like a broken arrow, randomly wandering around wherever the stream of life takes me. I want to take control of my life, and steer it towards the direction I want it to go.

But then again, WHERE?

Military Intelligence... Indeed

2005-04-09T09:06:00.000+08:00

Woah. Read this entry from PCIJ's blog:

MILITARY intelligence, they used to say in the bad, old Marcos days, is a contradiction in terms. It is an oxymoron. ISAFP and Brig. Gen. Jose Angel Honrado have proven this once again, by releasing, and defending, the contents of a CD on the “Enemies of the State.”

The military’s stupidity is painful to watch. Really, we expect more from those sworn to defend us and our country from all threats. After all, it is our money that is spent on all this intelligence gathering.

The Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines is a communist front? The generals (not the gods) must be crazy. This would have been a delightful April Fool’s Day joke, except that ISAFP wasn’t trying to be funny.

The reason we were against the media publishing, and making a big deal, of this so-called intelligence information is that we’d only be helping the military propagate its lies. Thus far, they’ve had to peddle this untruth from town to town. Now it’s all over the papers.

But is the fact that the CD names journalists’ groups as enemies a threat to press freedom? Perhaps. Is the naming of CBCP an enemy of the state a threat to Catholicism?

The military is shooting itself in the foot (and the mouth). It needs no help from journalists to prove that it is not only intelligence-, but also IQ-challenged. But then perhaps all this is a diversionary ploy to prevent journalists from poking their noses into where the stink really is: military corruption. Generals play many games. But they’re not going to win this one.

Hmm... Seems like the military's running out of patsies to point to regarding the who's who of terrorist activities here in the Philippines. They even tried to throw the blame on the Catholic hierarchy. I am not a devout Catholic but really now, this? I don't know really how to react on this, except probably laugh.

Fields Of Green... And Blue

2005-04-09T09:05:00.000+08:00

Went to the International Rice Research Institute (IRRI) two days ago at Los Banos, Laguna. 'Twas really a sight to behold, as a luscious view of green greeted me when I got out of the jeep. I was there because I, together with two other incoming MSCS student, and my (former) undergraduate thesis adviser, were going to be briefed on what could potentially be my next job, and possibly my thesis as well.

I would not go through discussing the details of the project, but nonetheless it was something that generated a lot of excitement on my part. But nonetheless, it has somehow brought upon a cloud of melancholy, as signing in this project would mean that I have to let go of my current job.

I haven't REALLY committed anything yet, although I'm around 90% sure about joining this project. It's just that I'm being held back by the memories of working under my current institution. It was really fun working here for 2 years, despite the fact that I'm constantly bombarded with problems, work and non-work related, left and right. But what kept me here is the personal gratification that I get knowing that I have done something relevant in service of a lot of people. Sure, the pay's really good (save the 25% tax), but what I'm really after here is reaping the fruits of the tons of emotions I have invested in the projects I have done for the institution.

But then again, how can I grow if I don't let go of a couple of things? How can I mature if I only let myself be tied to one particular line of work? These are the queries that are slowly strengthening my resolve to take that leap of faith and take that other work.

Then again, as I've said before, nothing's final yet. But the one thing constant here is...

Apple Joins In The Handheld Gaming Wars

2005-04-05T12:11:00.000+08:00

Introducing... the Apple gPod

It's still not out in the market yet though.

With Nintendo DS leading the way, and PSP catching up, can this little trinket here from Apple make the cut and even claim soverignty in the handheld wars?

Either way, here's a preview of the machine:
gPod Preview Page - Game Revolution

For A Better World

2005-04-04T07:59:00.000+08:00

I went to Tapa King Katipunan branch some time ago for dinner, and while I was waiting for my order, I happened to notice a framed poster on the pillar near the door. It bore a copy of parts of Robert Fulghum's "All I Ever Needed To Know, I Learned In Kindergarten", and curiously, I read the contents. Here's an excerpt of that particular work:

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand box at nursery school.

These are the things I learned. Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday.

Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. We are like that.

And then remember that book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK! Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology, and politics and the sane living.

Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

I know it might just be another stupid and simplistic way of looking at the world, but then again in this extremely complicated world, isn't it that most of the time, Occam's Razor holds true for almost all things? That instead of more complex solutions to certain problems, the simplest ones would more than suffice? I don't know, but I'm somehow beginning to believe that in order to attain true happiness, or peace, or elucidations, or the like, you do not necessarily need intricate plans or grandiose methods. Rather, just K.I.S.S. - Keep It Simple and Straightforward. Plain and pure.

In line with this, I also remembered a particular quotation in the Bible, Matthew 18:3, I believe:

... I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Even Jesus, a very important figure of all-time, thinks that child-likeliness is a very important criterion to entering (or achieving) paradise. And by child-likeliness, this means being innocent, being candid, BEING SIMPLE. So, I really believe the key to the betterment of this world lies not in sophistication (or at least too much of it), but in maintaining simplicity. Well, what do you think?

Classes And Grades

2005-04-01T11:05:00.000+08:00

I just finished filling up and signing my VERY FIRST grade sheet. I never imagined it would be such a scary experience to fill up a couple of forms. Furthermore, I never even imagined I would one day be giving grades to a couple of youngsters.

Anyway, the kids got very good grades, so hopefully, I wouldn't be the receiving end of a death threat, or the like. In any case, my students were really good kids - intelligent and diligent children.

To my students (you know who you are), congratulations for making it through my classes. And also, I would like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to all of you for making my first ever professional teaching experience enjoyable and memorable. :)

HAPPY 49TH MONTHSARY!!!

2005-04-01T07:47:00.000+08:00

To my Hon-Hon - A VERY HAPPY MONTHSARY!!!

Thank you very much for staying by my side through everything, even though I have been full of shortcomings. Here's to our 49th month! And to our 50th, 51st, 52nd...

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!! :)

Motivation

2005-03-31T18:04:00.000+08:00

How do you motivate someone who's already sinking into the extremities of depression? I just wish there's something I could do for her. What I can really offer right now are really small things to be able to assist her (or so I believe) through all of her undertakings. I just wish the things I do could uplift her spirits, especially now that she's really in throes of desperation.

Everybody Do The Disco Duck!

2005-03-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

I'm back.